That moment when you recognize: The person who wronged you is now being wronged BY you.

You discover a rupture in the membrane between pain and rage.

It’s one hell of a cocktail now.

It used to be that you hurt most of the time.

Now, all of the time, you’re dreaming up ways you can make her hurt.

It used to be that you meekly paid for his sins against you.

Now, you fantasize about ways to make him pay.

If you at least keep a guest room for God in your soul, you will eventually awaken to how you are slowly changing into the person who wronged you.

Our thoughts become us. The more you think about the person who did you wrong and the more you think about the wrong they did, the more like that person you become. You focus so much on the worst features of that person that you become a monstrous caricature of those features.

You arm yourself with your anger.

You know you’re...

Are you anxious? Scared? Worried?

What’s the worst that can happen?

Write it down. Read it aloud to The Divine.

Be still. Listen.

Enjoy what happens next.

Each day, I give myself a “happiness” score on a scale of one to ten.

It’s subjective. It has everything to do with how I feel as the day ends. I don’t think much about it. The number just comes to me. Then I make notes about the day (nutrition, productivity, sleep, weather, what I spent my time doing, etc.).

Here are a few random observations:

The more productive I am, the less stress I feel. It’s not necessarily about checking off things on my to-do list as much as it is doing important work when I’m supposed to be doing it.

The more time I spend on ESPN.com or social media, the less productive I feel (even if I’ve worked hard that day).

The more stress, the less happiness at the end of the day.

Except…

A stressful day can end up feeling like a very happy days if…

I started the day giving thanks to God and listing all of the good things in my life from the past 24 hours.

The people who complain about the cold in the winter will be the same people who complain about allergies in the spring, heat in the summer, and the leaves they have to rake in the fall.

The people who make excuses for what they can’t do are the same people who criticize like hell the people who actually try to do something.

The people who play the victim when they’re down will throw themselves in front of a bus when things are up.

The people who don’t have enough when money is tight will still not have enough when money is flowing.

The people who don’t like themselves when they’re fat will not like themselves any more when they’re skinny.

The people who love you when you’re a winner will love someone else when they’re the winner.

The people who are best at pointing out sin are the same people who are best at doing sin (I should be nervous on this point–I just spent seven...

Holy Eucharist on a Saturday night.

The congregation: Our friends, Laura and Matt. Artists and bums and hipsters and students and tourists. City dwelling twenty somethings and Baby Boomer suburbanites. Baristas and drunk strangers and parking lot attendants and waiters.

The feast: Pint of stout. Filet mignon. Flash fried brussels sprouts. Crispy fries. Espresso and ice cream.

The sanctuary: A garage-turned-art gallery on a Hamtramck side street. A restaurant in Midtown. A coffee house on Woodward Avenue. And all the sidewalks and streets in between. That big, vernal sky flying above us like a cathedral.

The sermon: Matt Bandsuch telling the stories of the depths of each of his paintings. The parking lot attendant spreading the gospel of how his city is changing for the better. Listening to Laura and Matt talk about their the glory and monotony, the elation and tragedy of their...

Observation: American Christians (like me) plan and pray for lots of stuff.

Two examples.

The first is the most intense period of prayer I recall from my youth. Our church prayed for at least two or three years for a new building or money to build a new building.

The second is current (and a little embarrassing). I’ve been making plans for upgrading our deck. You know: New furniture, lights, paint, etc. Maybe a fire feature and an outdoor projection unit for movies in the moonlight.

As I mature in Christian faith and practice, examples like these seem more odd and out of place.

In the first example, our church needed a new building because we outgrew the one we were in. We needed a bigger building so more people could grow along with a growing congregation.

People were the point of needing a new church building.

I don’t recall that our language reflected that. Our focus was...

We have to master faith and gratitude and joy the same way we master cooking and golf and writing.

That’s actually a scientific fact now. A recent study shows that negative experiences imprint on our brains instantly. In order for positive experiences to make permanent impressions on our brains, we have to be intentional about holding them in our minds for at least 15 seconds.

What that means: Experiences are always–quite literally–changing the wiring in our brains. Negative experiences are wiring our brains for doubt, paranoia, suspicion, and worry. The change to our brain is instantaneous when we have a negative experience.

Positive experiences wire our brains for faith, hope, and love. Unlike negative experiences, however, we have to hold the positive experience in our mind. We have to meditate on it. Savor it.

Am I noticing my 3-year old using his toys to build an elaborate...

How much energy, money, and time do I spend on looking good?

How about you?

Your daily routine is likely similar to mine: Shower, shave, brush teeth, style hair, moisturize, and pick out clothes (sometimes trying on several outfits).

That’s just the morning routine.

How many times during the day do you look in the mirror? And when you can’t look in the mirror, how many times do you wonder what you would see if you could?

What about browsing or shopping for clothes? We used to have to go to the mall. Now we can shop at our desks. I admit that I do. What about you?

It’s not just our bodies either. How much energy, money, and time do we spend making our cars and homes look good? How much energy and time do we spend making our online selves look good?

Humility is virtue. Insecurity is not.

In fact, I’m convicted more and more that my insecurity is selfish. Vain.

It’s fodder...

I love Michigan weather.

I love the seasons here. The wild unpredictability of each day.

Today is Friday, April 8. The Detroit Tigers open their home baseball season. Easter was almost two weeks ago. Flowers are popping up through the ground. I’ve been wearing pink again.

And an inch of snow covers the rooftops as I look out the front window.

The weather report predicts up to three inches of snow today.

I’m not bracing for the wintry blast. I’m bracing for the complaining and whining I’m sure to hear all day.

People in Michigan (of all places) seem to believe the weather is supposed to respond to their schedules and their whims as if they’re clicking the TV remote control.

It’s like God is a short-order cook.

“Hey, God! It’s Tigers Opening Day. What the hell is this snow? I ordered seventy and sunshine. I want my money back.”

Oh, you paid for today? You paid for the air and...

It’s alarming how much I appraise people in terms of their potential emotional, financial, or social value to me.

Even after so many times that I got the icky feeling that someone was befriending me just to exploit me.

Even after all these years training my heart and mind to conform to the heart and mind of Jesus Christ–who never exhibited even a whiff a guile.

It’s fear that fuels this compulsion to size up people in terms of what they can do for me.

Fear that if I don’t play, I might get played.

Fear that if I don’t take, I might get taken.

Fear that love is a nice idea, but it won’t work in my workaday world.

Does anyone think that treating people like investment instruments is right? Or that it will make us into the human beings we want to be? Or that it will bring out the best in other human beings? Or that it will make the world the kind of place where we want our...