BT Irwin Posts

A blog about looking for the Way of Jesus Christ in 21st century America

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I’m washed up…and that may be a blessing

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Photo by Mika Baumeister on Unsplash

A few days ago, I said something no American man ever wants to say: “I’m washed up.”

But it’s true. I am washed up.

I’ve lost my edge, my mojo, my swagger.

I don’t mean that I’ve lost my love for life; I mean that the work I once did so well is not working anymore. I used to have seemingly bottomless creativity, energy, grit, and run-through-walls determination.

Not anymore.

I’m burned out. Spent. Toast.

Even if it doesn’t feel good to be washed up, it feels good–freeing–to say it out loud.

Like letting my freak flag fly on LinkedIn.

There is a belief common in American enterprise that a man or woman must be always on the upswing, always positive, always winning.

For example, when you flame out at your job, you can’t admit to the marketplace that you just can’t do it anymore. You have to “spin” it into something like: “I decided to focus...

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What will we do with those we fear, despise, or oppose?

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Photo by Madalyn Cox on Unsplash

These days, it seems that some politicians can build a “base” by promising to just get rid of anyone their fans fear, despise, or oppose.

It’s not the politicians that bother me as much as those who believe them.

Do they think that by putting Democrats in office, all Republicans will either be forced, or just retreat, back into their “basket”?

Or do they think that by putting Republicans in office, all Democrats will be forced, or just retreat, to the coasts, college campuses, and inner cities?

A lot of people these days seem to think that the solution to every problem is to just make people they don’t like…disappear.

Does anyone else see the problem with this?

For one, it is impractical and…impossible. Anyone who has ever been part of a family ought to know this. I’m not even talking about extended family. Three people and one dog live in our...

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Lost(?) in the wilderness of American male mid-life

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Photo by Ali Inay on Unsplash

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about my doctor diagnosing me with mild anxiety and depression…and being 30 pounds overweight.

That didn’t take me by surprise. None of my pants fit and my shirts strain to cover my, ahem, dad bod. I know myself well enough to know that I haven’t been…myself. For a while now, the light in my world has gone sad, like the last sunsets of summer.

For the people I love, I don’t want to stay in this place, but…it’s not a bad place. I’ve read the Bible too many times to miss that people who pursue God must wander in a wilderness. There is no other way.

And where I am now is nothing if not the loneliest wilderness of my life.

In terms that American men are likely to understand: I’m having a mid-life crisis. It’s that time in an American man’s life when he knows his plans are not going to work out. He sees the time growing...

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Lament for my son’s school

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I didn’t expect to feel this sad.

But the feelings are like the ones I had when I watched my dad decline and die two summers ago.

Except these feelings are not for a person; they are for a building.

Just a couple of months ago, my son’s fifth grade class “graduated” from Paul A. Schalm Elementary School in Clawson, Michigan. They were the 65th and final class to graduate from the school. In the days after they left, crews began gutting it for demolition.

We all knew it was coming. A few years ago, residents in Clawson voted to build a new elementary school, tear down Schalm, and sell the land for new housing. I voted for it. So did my wife. We thought then, as we do now, that making this change is the best course for our school district.

My mind made a sound decision; now my heart must grieve the cost.

Walk out our front door, turn right, walk a few paces to the corner, turn...

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Come hell or high water (Isaiah 43:2)

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Photo by Wolfgang Hasselmann on Unsplash

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
When you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
And the flame shall not consume you.
–Book of Isaiah 43:2

Thanks to Heather for sending this verse to me the other day.

Three things stand out here.

First, water and fire are not a matter of if, but when.

“When” you pass through waters and rivers.

“When” you walk through fire.

Go far enough in this life and you will have to ford dangerous floods and tread water that is over your head. Go long enough in this world and you will go through hell.

Second, God promises God’s people that the water will not drown them and the fire will not consume them. This is not a promise that individuals will not drown or burn. One of the best Christian men I ever knew drowned a month after we...

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The doctor said I have mild anxiety and depression

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Photo by Richard Stachmann on Unsplash

Annual physicals are not what they used to be.

One year, in my early 20s, the doctor gave me a 10-minute exam and told me I was the picture of health.

“Whatever you’re doing, keep doing it,” he said.

I smiled to myself as I thought of the junk food I ate every day.

I was bullet-proof.

Up-and-coming. Young.

“Look out world,” I thought. “If cholesterol, fat, and processed sugar can’t stop me, ain’t nothin’ gonna slow me down!”

That’s what I said.

But that was 25 years ago.

Yesterday, my doctor took an hour to examine my 48-year old body.

“You don’t have any problems yet, but you need to lose 25 pounds,” he said. “With your family’s medical history, you’re at risk. I want you to change your diet and start getting three hours of cardiovascular exercise every week.”

And, after putting me through a battery of questions and spending 15...

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Hallowed (be your name)

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Photo by lauren lulu taylor on Unsplash

Our Father in heaven,
Hallowed be your name.
Your kingdom come.
Your will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts,
As we also have forgiven our debtors.
And do not bring us to the time of trial,
But rescue us from the evil one.

(From the “the Lord’s Prayer” in the Gospel of Matthew 6:9-13)

Hallowed be your name.

The closest we come to using the word “hallow” anymore is about once a year when it’s time for “Hallow-een.”

Think about it: When was the last time you heard someone (including yourself) drop the word “hallow” or “hallowed” into a conversation?

Hallowed means “holy, venerated, sacred.”

Jesus prays to his (our) Father in heaven: “Hallowed be your name.”

In my church, we sing and talk a lot about glorifying the name of God. For example, we have a song that repeats the line...

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Assassination

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Photo by Max Kleinen on Unsplash

As a rule, I don’t write on Saturday nights. I chill out with my family, stay up and watch some Hallmark Channel with my wife, and go to bed early enough to be fresh for Sunday morning worship.

Tonight, however, I can’t relax. I can think of nothing but today’s apparent assassination attempt on former president Donald Trump.

I am not now, nor have I ever been, a fan or follower of Mr. Trump. He did not get my vote in 2016 or 2020 and he will not get my vote in 2024. Here, I will summarize, in brief, my reasons in two points.

First, I believe that too many Americans (and Christians) imagine presidents as their leaders. I have a Leader who knows me and who gives me the Way, the Truth, and the Life. Insofar as I follow my Leader, I am able to serve my family, church, and community. I don’t need or want someone in Washington to be my leader. I want...

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Contempt must have no home among Christians

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Photo by Lucas Myers on Unsplash

Do nothing from selfish ambition or empty conceit, but in humility regard others as better than yourselves. Let each of you look not to your own interests, but the interests of others… (Letter to the Philippians 2:3-4).

“It would break my heart to see you playing that piano.”

Dad said this to our host as we walked through the auditorium of a little Church of Christ congregation in rural Ohio.

We were dinner guests of that congregation’s minister and his family. Dad brought along Mom, my two sisters, and me. Before we ate, we got a tour of the small church building.

We belonged to a Church of Christ congregation that read the Bible in a way that forbade instruments in worship. This was no small matter, but what we in the Church of Christ call a “salvation issue.” That is: instruments in worship would do no less than damn participants to hell.

So...

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Why I think my conservative Christian dad kept us in public schools

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Photo by CDC on Unsplash

My dad, a conservative Church of Christ preacher, did not like some of what the public schools taught his three kids.

In sixth grade, it was the Big Bang and evolution.

In sixth and ninth grade, it was sex education.

In high school, some teachers spoke in favor of abortion and gay marriage.

On the basis of his reading of the Bible, Dad opposed those things.

But as far as I know, he never thought about homeschooling or moving us to a private Christian school.

Nor did he run for school board to try to change the schools themselves.

Why not?

I think he had at least two reasons.

First, Dad told me more than once that truth has nothing to fear. If one has truth, he can face challenges to the truth with chin up and a cheerful whistle.

At best, our understanding of truth will pass the test and prove to be true indeed.

At worst, we learn that what thought to...

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