Using people for their stuff
It’s alarming how much I appraise people in terms of their potential emotional, financial, or social value to me.
Even after so many times that I got the icky feeling that someone was befriending me just to exploit me.
Even after all these years training my heart and mind to conform to the heart and mind of Jesus Christ–who never exhibited even a whiff a guile.
It’s fear that fuels this compulsion to size up people in terms of what they can do for me.
Fear that if I don’t play, I might get played.
Fear that if I don’t take, I might get taken.
Fear that love is a nice idea, but it won’t work in my workaday world.
Does anyone think that treating people like investment instruments is right? Or that it will make us into the human beings we want to be? Or that it will bring out the best in other human beings? Or that it will make the world the kind of place where we want our children and grandchildren to live?
The way of love is better and it is so much scarier.
To befriend those who have no friends.
To give without expectation of receiving anything in return.
To look deeply at the heart rather than appraise assets or social connections.
To insist on entering every relationship only to know and understand. And in doing so to affirm, bless, and celebrate the person through selfless service.
To measure wealth and well-being by paying attention to what is essential yet immeasurable in human relationships.
The way of love requires faith and trust.
That is, faith in God and trust that he will provide for my family and satisfy my soul. The old way of exploitation and manipulation could never be as enriching as the way of faith and love.
I’m making no promises here, but two:
First: I’ll keep moving in the direction of love even though maturing into perfect love is likely to be a process of frequent disappointment and failure. I’m going through this process by faith.
Second, the promises of God are true and trustworthy. If I didn’t believe them, what would be the point of aspiring to live by them?
Please forgive me if I ever treated you as if your stuff meant more to me than you. Nothing could be further from the truth.
The sun is rising. It’s a new day. Many people will cross our paths today.
Let’s resolve now to love and let’s go practice.