How to oppose Republicans (or Democrats)

The best way to oppose the opposition is to not oppose them at all.

I don’t want what defines me to be about what I’m against; I want my life to be for something. When I choose to become an opponent, I choose to react to someone else’s agenda. I’m no longer behaving, feeling, and thinking on my own terms; I’m behaving, feeling, and thinking on someone else’s terms.

Here are three rules I suggest we all follow starting now:

1. If we are in the habit of reading the news every day and forming opinions, let’s challenge our own thinking. Ask yourself the questions you hope nobody else ever asks you. The ones you’d rather avoid. Debate with yourself. List your assumptions. Scrutinize your sources. Try to argue with yourself from the opposite point of view. The point of this exercise is to try to figure out what you believe, but to do it in such a way that helps you empathize and identify with people who reach a different conclusion.

2. You are the boss of elected officials. You are the customer of news media. In some cases, you may be the donor to the political party. All of them work for you. Does your boss ask you questions every day? Does he do an annual review or quarterly report? Does she challenge you to back up what you say you will do? Do what your boss does, but do it for your elected officials, news media, and political party. This is easier than you might think. Every one of my elected officials hosts regular coffee talks and town hall meetings in my district. Every one of them responds to emails and phone calls. I’ve emailed columnists and editors for years and they always email back. I’m attending an open forum with my political party in February. The point is this: Don’t wait for someone else to tell you the agenda and talking points; you tell your employees what you want the agenda and talking points to be.

3. The proper response to someone who has a different point of view–even one that we believe is offensive and wrong–is to ask questions and only ask questions. The more offensive and wrong, the more effort we should put into asking questions that cut deep enough to reveal the truth. We never have to prove bigoted, ignorant, or stubborn people are bigoted, ignorant, or stubborn; they are quite good at proving that themselves if you simply ask them enough reasonable questions. Bigoted, ignorant, and stubborn people are looking for proof that you are what they say you are. Don’t give it to them. Ask them questions. Be genuinely courteous and curious. Most people aren’t bigots. They are good-hearted, reasonable, and willing to change their minds when you give them consideration and respect. You do so by simply asking them a lot of questions.

You and I are not helpless, powerless, or subject to whatever someone on high tells us we have to believe and do.

The worst thing that can happen now is for you and I to relinquish power. I’m not speaking as a Democrat or Republican; I’m speaking as an American citizen and a Christian whose life mission is to love my neighbors.

Don’t be an opponent; be president of your own citizenship.

Onward and upward.