Love and vanity
Can you be seen in your bedclothes? Un-made-up? Un-prepared? Un-rehearsed? Can you be seen this way without excuse?
Can you say something that may be misunderstood and let it hang in the air without further explanation?
Can you write a blog post and not revise it a hundred times (or even just two or three times) before clicking “Publish”?
Can you make a public mistake without self-deprecation?
Can you do any of this and still feel OK? Still feel pretty good about yourself without deflecting your natural reflex for embarrassment into criticism of the people you imagine are silently judging you?
That last sentence needed revision and I’m letting it go. Does this make sense? No? I’m letting that go, too, without explaining myself further.
What’s the point?
The question is not: How lovable are you?
The question is: Will you let yourself be lovable?
You can’t be truly lovable this way: By making yourself into the idol you imagine you must become to be truly love-worthy. Your leftover daddy and mommy issues are an awful place to start when trying to be lovable.
Besides, you can’t make yourself lovable. Not truly lovable.
You can only accept that you are lovable.
You ARE lovable.
If you want to discover the kind of love that does not depend on what you do to earn it, you have to stop trying to earn love.
You have to let down your guard, put down perfectionism and see who is still standing with you when you’re immature, incomplete, and unpolished.
I can promise you three things when you drop the facade and quit the act:
- You will find The Divine loving you as you are,
- You will find family and friends (some of them may surprise you) loving you as you are, and,
- You will find the person who has the hardest time loving you as you are is…you.