What is the best compliment someone ever gave you?

What is the best compliment someone ever gave you?

Enjoy thinking about that for a few minutes.

Got it?

How did that compliment change you or change your life?

Enjoy thinking about that for a few minutes.

Words can make whole new worlds, can’t they?

Two people gave me two compliments that made the whole world new for me. The moments they spoke their compliments to me were like the moment when God said “Let there be light!”

The first compliment came from my friend, Andrea. She is not a Christian, which is one of my favorite things about her. She is an artist, which means she is a person who throws her life wide open to the Spirit that moves like wind through the world. The same Spirit that was “hovering over the face of the deep” in Genesis 1:2. I happen to believe that, out of all people, artists come closest to being prophets like the ones in the Bible. Like the prophets in the Bible, artists often do their work from the outside of our religions.

So when Andrea spoke her compliment to me, it meant a lot.

She said: “You’re the first Christian I’ve met in a long time that I feel like I can trust. I feel safe around you, like you’re not trying to get anything out of me or make me your project. You don’t have an agenda.”

One of the marvelous things about Jesus of Nazareth is that we regard him as perfect and yet imperfect people wanted to be around him the most.

He fulfilled every jot and tittle of the Law and yet the people who just couldn’t get enough of him were the lawbreakers!

Think about the “perfect” people you know. How many “imperfect” people feel comfortable around them?

Think about the most religious people you know. How many un-religious people are signing up to be in their fan clubs?

Andrea’s compliment meant so much to be for two reasons.

First, it encouraged me that I something about me resembled the Christ. We come closest to being like the Christ (“Christian”) when people who are not Christian feel free and safe as their authentic selves when they’re with us. When people who are not Christian really want to be in a real relationship with me, I know I am coming closer to being like my Christ.

Second, it encouraged me to keep doing what I was doing!

For many years, I struggled to know if my apprenticeship to Jesus Christ should lead me deeper into the Christian church or farther into the world. Anyone who knows me knows that my love for the church of Christ is deep and real and will never stop. But since my youth, I believed (without words to express it at first) that the church of Christ is a sacrament for the world. That is: The Christ gives his church to the world as an expression of his love for the world. The church of Christ is not first in the world; we are last in the world. We are the servants of all as our Christ is the servant of all. Especially those who are not in the church with us.

From the moment Andrea said what she said, I knew the Christ would bless me and keep me if I kept going in the way that I was going. Before Andrea spoke, I felt like I was groping along in the darkness. But her words were a flash of light that gave me a glimpse of the landscape and the trail the Spirit was blazing for me. I could see. I could keep going with thanksgiving.

The second compliment came from my friend, Debbie.

Debbie is also not a Christian. That is also one of my favorite things about her. I’ve grown up my entire life around religious people and I love them so much. But I have found non-religious people to be the most authentic and humble. Authentic, humble people are a joy to be around.

Debbie and I worked together for a few years at the same organization.

One evening, I popped my head in her office door at about 6 o'clock. I wanted to let her know that I was leaving the building. As often happened with Debbie and me, “popping my head in the door” turned into a 20-minute conversation. I don’t remember what we talked about that day, but I will never forget the compliment Debbie gave me:

“You give us our language.”

“Huh?” I said.

“I was here two years before you came,” she said. “In the three years since you came here, the language at this organization completely changed.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I mean the words we use and what we talk about is completely different now than it was three years ago,” she said. “I sit in meetings and I walk up and down the hall and the words that I hear people using are your words. The questions I hear people asking are your questions. Since you came, you’ve given us a whole new language here and now we are thinking a whole new way. And it’s good. We never used to talk about the mission here and now we talk about it all the time. That’s all because of you.”

I think I actually looked up to see if a shaft of light was beaming down on me. I didn’t see one, but Debbie’s words had the effect of parting the clouds and illuminating my world with heavenly light.

“You give us our language.”

From that moment on, I understood the power of words. The people at that organization were internalizing the words I chose to use and the way I chose to use them. My words were becoming their thoughts. As our thinking changed, so did our actions. So did our results.

I resolved that I would devote the rest of my life to using language to build. Knowing the power that my words could have, I would never again let one of them fall to the ground. I would strive to never again waste a single word.

I chose to write about Andrea’s compliment first because I wanted to end with Debbie’s compliment.

That is because Debbie’s compliment holds a truth that I hope you will carry with you from reading this post.

That truth is this: Your words are powerful. Somewhere in your life, you are giving the people around you their language. It could be your family and friends. It could be your house of worship or your workplace. It could be your social media followers. It’s probably all of them. Know that your words are getting into other people’s heads. Your words are becoming what other people think.

Think back to the best compliment someone ever gave you.

How powerful do those words continue to be in your life? How are those words still building you, forming you, working through you to touch all the people and places in your life?

Resolve to use your words to do likewise.

Let it be that someone will say that you gave them the best compliment of their lives.

“Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear” (Letter to the Ephesians 4:29).

Grace and peace.