The pride of worry

Jesus Christ was emphatic when he said–commanded–his apprentices not to worry. He left no margin for misunderstanding. Worry is direct disobedience to God. It’s on the no-fly list.

Oh, but I worry a lot. Why?

Well, I have many reasons to worry. That is to say: Worry seems reasonable, doesn’t it? When the car breaks down and the money isn’t in the bank to fix it, doesn’t worry seem like the right emotion for the occasion? Who would blame you for worrying?

Upon deeper reflection, however, I discover something else at work in worry. When I worry, it has little to do with fear and a lot to do with pride.

I want people to see me worry because worry is people with common sense do. I want people to see me as someone who has common sense.

I want people to see me worry because worry is what important people with big problems do. I want people to see me as an important person with big problems.

I want people to see me worry because worry is what victims do. Sometimes, I want people to see me as a victim so they’ll feel sorry for me.

I want people to see me worry because worry is what contrite people do. I want people to see me as a contrite person weeping out piety.

I want God to see me worry because worry is what sinners do. I want God to see me as someone who doesn’t expect him to clean up my messes. It’s not fair to God. When I run into something I can’t handle myself, then I’ll call on him. Meanwhile, I’ll just worry to show him that I’m responsible and well-meaning.

All of these reasons–especially the last one–are why Jesus Christ taught his apprentices not to worry. Sure, the Lord doesn’t want his people going through life afraid. How many times did he say in Scripture: “Do not be afraid.”

But what I think he’s really getting at with his command “Do not worry” is pride. We need each other. We need God. Honestly now, how many times has your worry kept you from leaning on the grace, kindness, and mercy of others?

You see, the Christ didn’t come to make morally superior people who are self-reliant. That kind of person can neither give nor receive love. And yet we so often aspire to moral superiority and self-reliance. How do I know? Because worry is a symptom that points straight to those things!

In fact, the Christ came to lead us into close community. Close community. That’s where love lives: In the give and take of being in relationship. The eradication of sin was not about making us clean. The eradication of sin is about demolishing whatever keeps us from communion with God and everyone and everything around us. If the point of this Christianity thing is to bring us into this close communion, worry is a sin that keeps us out.

So next time you find yourself full of worry, pause and take a closer look. What is at the root of the worry? To whom could you draw closer if you set this worry aside?

Grace and peace.

Onward and upward.